90min's Definitive European Player Power Rankings 2020/21 - Week 2
By Tom Gott
Football is well and truly back now.
Players across Europe are getting back into the swing of things after a less-than-ideal pre-season, and we're already seeing some of the best individual performances we've seen in a long time.
It's time for us to rank the top stars, and what better way to do them justice than to call on a little help from perhaps the finest cinematic year in history, 1994?
15. Romelu Lukaku (New Entry)
"I'm only one man."
"Not from the back." (The Flintstones)
Remember when everyone laughed at Romelu Lukaku for being a little tubby? And it was actually because of a misdiagnosed medical condition? And now he's one of the best strikers in the world?
He bagged two goals against Benevento, taking his tally to three in just two games so far.
14. Patrick Bamford (New Entry)
"What are the chances of a guy like you and a girl like me... ending up together?"
"Not good."
"Not good like one in 100?"
"I'd say more like one in 1,000,000."
"So you're telling me there's a chance?" (Dumb and Dumber)
Heading into this season, many would have claimed that Patrick Bamford's chances of impressing in the Premier League were slim to none.
After three goals and two assists in his first three games, he's got critics hiding in the shadows.
13. Wissam Ben Yedder (New Entry)
"AHHHHHHHHH! It's a mom!" (Little Giants)
The only thing scarier than a mom is an in-form Wissam Ben Yedder.
The Monaco man has found that form, bagging three goals in his last two games.
12. Luis Suárez (New Entry)
“It’s times like this my buddy Timon here says: you got to put your behind in your past.” (The Lion King)
It didn't take Luis Suárez too long to move on from his time in Barcelona, did it?
He managed two goals and an assist in his 20-minute Atlético Madrid debut, and we're just waiting for the day he gets to play alongside Diego Costa.
11. Ignatius Ganago (New Entry)
“Get busy living or get busy dying.” (The Shawshank Redemption)
Ignatius Ganago is not wasting time this season. He's only played five games for Lens and he's already got four goals.
10. Ansu Fati (New Entry)
"Look, Simba. Everything the light touches is our kingdom."
"Whoa..."
"A king's time as ruler rises and falls like the sun. One day, Simba, the sun will set on my time here, and will rise with you as the new king." (The Lion King)
Lionel Messi might still be the king at Camp Nou, but we all know who's going to take his place on the throne when he goes.
17-year-old Ansu Fati has been the star of the Ronald Koeman era so far, bagging three goals and an assist in just two matches.
9. Jamie Vardy (New Entry)
“I’m sorry, did I break your concentration?” (Pulp Fiction)
Jamie Vardy did a different kind of shooting to Pulp Fiction's Jules, but it'll still have felt like a bullet to Pep Guardiola.
A hat-trick against Manchester City is no mean feat, and Vardy now sits on five goals from just three games.
8. Alejandro Gómez (New Entry)
"I'm smarter than you, Jack! I'm smarter! I'm smarter!"
"Yeah, well I'm taller!" (Speed)
Papu Gómez is used to being one of the shorter players on the pitch, and he's definitely used to being one of the smartest.
Another two goals against Lazio took Gómez's tally for the season to three, and he's got two assists to show for his efforts so far too.
7. Sadio Mané (Up 5)
"When was the last time you heard these exact words 'You are the sunshine of my life'?" (Shallow Grave)
Sadio Mané probably hears that from Liverpool fans whenever he's out and about.
He definitely will have heard it after his one goal against Arsenal, just like after his double against Chelsea.
6. Kylian Mbappé (Up 8)
"Bring me everyone."
"What do you mean 'everyone'?"
"EVERYONE." (Léon: The Professional)
Kylian Mbappé doesn't care who he has to beat on his quest for world domination.
This week's victims were Reims, who were powerless to stop Mbappé grabbing two assists. PSG look back to their best, and it's (almost) all down to him.
5. Cristiano Ronaldo (Up 4)
"Hey Ace, got anymore of that gum?"
"That's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs." (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective)
Cristiano Ronaldo didn't give his Juventus teammates the chance to impress against Roma, stealing the spotlight for himself with two goals in the 2-2 draw.
4. Erling Haaland (Up 3)
"Splendid, I thought. What did you think?"
"I, thought, splendid! What did you think?"
"Splendid, I thought." (Four Weddings and a Funeral)
Erling Haaland's performance in the Super Cup loss to Bayern Munich was about as splendid as they come.
Netting a goal and an assist against the defending European champions is always a good way to get yourself a bump up in the power rankings.
But do you know what's even better?
3. Andrej Kramarić (Up 5)
"S**t, man. I'm a natural born killer." (Natural Born Killers)
That's right. Two goals. And a 4-1 win.
Andrej Kramarić has played three competitive games this season and already has seven goals to his name. Seven.
2. Dominic Calvert-Lewin (Up 4)
“My mama always said, ‘Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.'” (Forrest Gump)
Dominic Calvert-Lewin used to be really bad. Then Carlo Ancelotti came and he was really good. Then he went bad again.
Now, he's very, very good.
Eight goals in his first five games this year has earned the Everton man his maiden call-up to the England squad, and you can't say it's undeserved.
1. Harry Kane (Up 2)
"Sssssssmokin!" (The Mask)
Clearly aware of the threat Calvert-Lewin is posing to his spot in the England side, Harry Kane has responded in a big way.
This week, he managed another assist against Newcastle before a hat-trick and an assist against Maccabi Haifa. He now has six goals and six assists from just seven games, which is a ridiculous return.