Crisis club of the week: Barcelona
Drake believed in them. Not sure anyone else did.
Barcelona have sold their soul, their reputation and a significant chunk of their future and for what? For this: being unable to land a glove on Real Madrid in El Clasico and another early Champions League exit.
Should probably go ahead and add those two extra letters to the Camp Nou seating now. Menos que un club.
What's the crisis?
Xavi's side have, for the most part, beaten up the lesser teams (and Real Sociedad) in La Liga without too much trouble since a 0-0 home draw against Rayo Vallecano on the opening weekend. Seven straight La Liga wins followed, during which Marc-Andre ter-Stegen conceded just one goal.
The problem, and it's a considerable one, is that Barcelona look completely incapable of challenging Europe's elite despite spending more than PSG, Manchester City and Bayern Munich this summer (although admittedly less than Nottingham Forest, such is the wealth gap between the Premier League and everywhere else).
They are only three points behind Real Madrid in La Liga after their 3-1 defeat at the weekend, that is true, but they also sit third in their Champions League group behind Inter and Bayern. They've taken a single point off those two teams so far and were fortunate to get that, Robert Lewandowski bailing them out in a thrilling 3-3 draw against Inter at Camp Nou. Failure to qualify for the knockout stages would be nothing short of disastrous given the potential financial ramifications.
Beyond that, Carlo Ancelotti's side look far better equipped to secure the domestic title and thoroughly outclassed their historic rivals on Sunday. Xavi has now won 56% of his games, the worst percentage of any Barcelona manager to take charge of at least 50 since Serra Ferrer. Who? Exactly.
Why are they in crisis?
Barcelona have mortgaged their future in the hope of instant success under Xavi and the quick rebuilding of their brand, which has taken something of a hit in recent years, to put it mildly. Signing Martin Braithwaite and losing Lionel Messi will often do that to a club. Not sure a Spotify sponsorship and special OVO shirts quite fix it.
Raphinha, Lewandowski, Jules Kounde, Franck Kessie, Andreas Christensen, Hector Bellerin and Marcos Alonso all joined this summer despite an all-consuming financial crisis that made it extremely difficult to register players under La Liga's salary cap rules. Essentially, new-old president Joan Laporta has decided to lump it all on black (again) despite Barcelona still owing money on other disastrous transfer dealings made in the past, namely Philippe Coutinho and Miralem Pjanic.
Laporta has handed Xavi a bunch of marquee signings but how many of them were actually necessary? Was blowing £50m on Raphinha wise given they had already spent a similar amount on Ferran Torres seven months earlier? Are Bellerin and Alonso long-term solutions at full-back? Don't Kounde and Christensen now block the development of Eric Garcia and Ronald Araujo?
Perhaps the most pressing question of all is whether Xavi was the right man to hire in the first place given all he has to his name is a stellar playing career at the club, AKA 'Barça DNA', and a Qatari Stars League title with Al-Sadd. Were there no better candidates for one of the most prestigious jobs in the world?
What can they do to rectify it?
It's a bit late now. Barcelona have committed to this strategy come hell or high water. They've sold a significant proportion of their future TV rights, half their content production company and took out a fresh loan of €500m from Goldman Sachs to help restructure their €1.3bn debt.
There are no easy routes out of this. As an alternative, here's what they should have done in the first place and a job for which Xavi would have been far better suited: a La Masia rebuild.
In Gavi and Pedri (signed from Las Palmas), Xavi inherited two midfielders perfectly-suited to his style of play and ideal central cogs for a Barcelona team. Garcia makes far too many mistakes for my liking but seems to be considered a major building block by the club. Araujo is the real deal as long as you stop forcing him to play at right-back. Alejandro Balde could well be the long-term successor to Jordi Alba. Ansu Fati has all the potential in the world. Torres is still only 22 and can play anywhere across the front three.
Given all that young talent was already in place, along with the likes of Frenkie de Jong and Ousmane Dembele, Barcelona should have tempered expectations for a few years, attempted to cut their exorbitant wage bill as much as possible and hoped that Xavi could have helped those players develop enough (along with any others that come through) to gradually turn Barcelona back into a force. Smarter, more financially-responsible signings alongside that core would have had them competing again in no time. Crucially, this approach would have enhanced their long-term prospects instead of jeopardising them.
Instead, they've thrown even more money at the same problem 'just throwing money at everything' created, cut every corner imaginable and created even greater hurdles to jump further down the line. Bringing a fading Lionel Messi back at the end of the season won't solve anything, either.
Through disastrous short-term thinking, as muddled as it is impatient, Barcelona's timeline looks so bleak even Liz Truss might begin to feel sorry for them. Drunk on past glories, one hell of a hangover is coming for this football club. They have nothing to blame other than their own hubris.