What it Would Take to Break Lionel Messi's Records

Booming cracks of thunder flash across the night sky. A wild-eyed scientist darts around an eerily lit laboratory, manically adjusting the myriad of levers and dials on a machine which sprawls out across the room.

As the rumbling behind the metal rises to a roar, there is a flicker of movement beneath the sheet in the centre of the room. The muttering figure in a white coat bursts out into a roar: "It's alive!"

OK, so the player - or creature - which eventually overtakes any of Lionel Messi's litany of records may not have to be the brainchild of Dr Frankenstein, but without any scientific interference, we could be waiting for a mythical successor to the ridiculous Argentinian for untold years to come.

To shed a slither of light on the enormity of Messi's achievements, both in terms of scale and consistency, here are some of the scary standards a future prodigy would have to match to attempt the seemingly impossible; surpass Messi.

*statistics correct as of 24/12/20.

1. Most Goals for One Club - 644

Messi's status as the ultimate one-club man was put to the test in a tumultuous summer 2020. However, amid a flurry of sharp-tongued barbs from Barcelona's captain, Messi has remained at the Camp Nou long enough to surpass the legendary Pele as the all-time top scorer for one club with a sickening 644 goals.

As Gary Lineker helpfully points out, your Messi-monster would have to score an average of 43 goals each season, for 15 years, at one club, to better the Argentine icon.

To add some more perspective, the official Best Player in the World, Robert Lewandowski, has scored more than 43 club goals in just one season of his career to date.

2. Most La Liga Goals - 451

As with most records, Messi stands well above the rest when it comes to La Liga goals - Cristiano Ronaldo is next on the list with 311 (in far fewer appearances as the Portuguese would undoubtedly point out). However, Ronaldo and Antoine Griezmann’s combined tally in the competition is only a handful more than Messi’s gluttonous bundle.

To put into context how many years of sustained scoring prowess it would take to equal Messi’s total La Liga haul, it may help to view his tally in terms of the division’s top scorers.

Since La Liga once again became a 20-team league in 1997, the season’s top scorer has netted an average of 32 goals. And so, it would take more than 14 seasons of Pichichi-quality scoring to match Messi’s marvellous metrics.

3. Most Goals in a Calendar Year - 91

While 2020 won't rank among Messi's greatest years, 2012 was unquestionably his annus mirabilis on an individual level.

In those ludicrous 12 months, Messi scored a record-breaking 91 goals in 69 official matches for Barcelona and Argentina. Simply playing enough games to rack up such a tally is tough enough, but the scoring ratio a hypothetical successor would need to sustain over such a long period is fanciful.

To match Messi's calendar year tally, assuming the player features in every minute of the same 69 matches (which is unfeasible as it is in the modern game), the imaginary goalscorer extraordinaire would have to find the net every 68 minutes.

More than half the teams in the 2011/12 La Liga season had a worse minutes per goal average than Messi just by himself.

4. Most assists in 21st Century - 330

The final pass before a goal has only really become a point of importance in the last decade and, of course, Messi tops the charts for this particular honour.

According to Transfermarkt, Messi has registered more assists for club and country than any other player on the planet since the turn of the century.

Messi, naturally, also jointly holds the accolade of the most assists in a single season in any of Europe’s top five leagues with 21 (alongside Bayern Munich’s Thomas Muller). To match Messi’s current total of 330, a player would have to surpass that seasonal record and lay on 22 assists for 15 consecutive campaigns.