The best England football songs - ranked
There are several certainties when international tournaments roll around.
Great goals, players and kits are some of the more obvious ones, but each World Cup or Euros England qualify also leads to everyone's Spotify getting clogged up with football songs.
Having an official anthem for each tournament used to a be a cherished tradition on these shores, though it is more hit and miss these days.
That means that when a summer of football rolls around we are all forced to load up the classics. We all have our favourites, but which is the best? We dug into the archives to find out.
16. England are Jolly Dee! - Neil & Christine Hamilton
Back in 2006 former Tory MP Neil Hamilton - who had previously been embroiled in a series of sleazy scandals - along with his Christine were desperate for attention.
Their solution? Release a World Cup song.
The song is genuinely deranged, featuring lyrics like: "You have to kick it, not use your hand," and "it's watched by people on their tellies, with nylon shirts and big beer bellies."
The no-expense-spared music video uses clips from the recording studio interjected with occasional footage of the pair at their local park. The look of sheer despair in one of the sound engineer's eyes tells the whole story.
15. Shout for England - Dizzee Rascal & James Corden
When Dizzee Rascal released Boy in Da Corner back in 2003 he raised the bar for grime music forever, scooping a Mercury Award in the process.
Seven years later he would team up with the most irritating man in the world to produce a repugnant track which managed to bastardise two much better songs in the space of just three minutes and 19 seconds.
To be fair, Dizzee's verses aren't too bad. However, the Corden factor and lazy hook means this one is destined for the bottom of our charts.
14. (Is This the Way to) The World Cup - Tony Christie
Tony Christie was a household name in 2006, following Peter Kay's charity cover of his biggest hit, Is This the Way to Amarillo, a year prior.
Instead of writing a new song for the World Cup Christie got away with changing a few lyrics and printing off a few facemasks. What a grifter.
13. How Does it Feel (To Be On Top of the World) - England United
This had all the ingredients to be a smash hit, but it just didn't click for some reason. Much like England's Golden Generation, really.
England United was a supergroup consisting of Echo and the Bunnymen, Space, Ocean Colour Scene and the Spice Girls - the biggest act on the planet at the time.
Thing is, the song was just so meh.
12. Come on England - 442
This is basically cheating. You can't just take the most iconic wedding DJ song of all time and change one word to England for goodness sake.
11. Sven Sven Sven - Bell & Spurling
The lyrics and video are a bit lads mags-y, but then again, so was Sven. You also can't deny some of the verses are pretty witty.
The backing track is addictive as well, ambling along at a nice pace. Perfect lounge music.
Bell & Spurling drop down a couple of spaces for their ill-fated attempts to bring back the anthem in 2018. The video featured Razor Ruddock, a horrific Harry Kane lookalike and shoehorned in dig at then shadow home secretary Dianne Abbott. Big 'yer da' energy from all involved.
10. England's Irie - Black Grape
The 1990s were a beautifully chaotic time. Nothing sums up this madness better than England's Irie.
Featuring post-Happy Mondays splinter group Black Grape alongside Keith Allen and (weirdly) Joe Strummer. The lyrics don't make much sense but that doesn't really matter.
Just embrace the madness.
9. The Rhythm Method - Chin Up
It's been a long time since England have had a properly good, new tournament song.
The Rhythm Method gave it a go in 2018, fleshing out an old demo, adding romantic lyrics about fans throwing chairs across European market squares and then getting Wolf Alice and Swim Deep on the blower to be in the video.
For Euro 2020 they attempted to hit all the home nations at once, asking fans to "show some love for your friends next door". We appreciate the hustle.
8. Back Home - 1970 England World Cup Squad
This is the classiest England tournament song ever recorded.
In the video the Three Lions 1970 World Cup squad resembled an expanded Rat Pack, sporting crisp tuxedos and immaculate hair.
The song isn't half bad either. It's also gets bonus points for being the first of its kind.
7. This Time - The England World Cup Squad
A classic of the "holding the headphones to your head so you look like you know what you're doing" genre.
The official song of England's 1982 World Cup was released on a 16-track LP which also featured Kevin Keegan singing his smash hit Head Over Heels, as well as Glenn Hoddle tackling We Are the Champions.
England went on to crash out in the second group stage...
6. Meat Pie, Sausage Roll - Grandad Roberts and His Son Elvis
How this missed out on an Ivor Novello Award in 1998 we'll never know.
Vegans might disagree, though.
5. We're On the Ball - Ant & Dec
We're on the ball captures the absurdity of one of England's best ever victories with the immortal line: "AND HESKEY MAKES IT FIVE!"
There is plenty to like about this banger. The lyrics are playful without being that cringy and the backing track features a euphoric horn section.
The music video's a smash as well. In it Ant & Dec kidnap and then pose as Sven Goran Eriksson and his assistant Tord Grip. Naturally, hilarity ensues. Okay, maybe it doesn't.
4. All the Way - England Football Team
The hypnotic snake hips, Tony Adam pumping iron to the beat, the two players trying desperately to hide from the camera being the weights machine. How can you not love everything about this certified 1980s toe tapper?
Perhaps the reason it isn't held in higher regard is the Three Lions shocking display at the tournament itself.
Far from 'Going All the Way' at Euro 1988, England lost all three of their group games - their worst performance ever. Ooooooffffffff.
3. Vindaloo - Fat Les
In terms of impact of global terrace culture, no England song has been more influential than Fat Les' Vindaloo.
To this day hundreds of sets of fans across the world possess the anthem in their hymn book.
Fat Les themselves were made up of Blue bassist Alex James, Guy Pratt and the human embodiment of the 1990s, Keith Allen. It was simple but gloriously effective and also had the best video on this list by some distance.
2. Three Lions - Baddiel, Skinner & Lightning Seeds
People have written hundreds of thousands of words on the meaning of this song, attaching sweeping narratives about England's national consciousness to its four minute runtime.
Well then, allow us to add a few more.
Three Lions does a lot of things right. It has a chantable chorus, a couple of rousing key changes and a 10/10 video.
What it does better than any other song in history, though, is capture the bittersweet feeling of following a pretty rubbish football team.
1. World in Motion - New Order
Look, I know what you're thinking.
"Matt, you've only chosen World in Motion as number one to help justify spending £50 on Umbro's summer collab with New Order."
Perhaps you're right. Then again, perhaps you're wrong.
World in Motion was the song that help make football cool again in an era of hooliganism, crumbling stadiums and a government that viewed supporters as sub-human scum.
Born out of these bleak conditions was an indie, synth, dance banger featuring 16 bars of straight fire from John Barnes. It's the GOAT. No ifs, buts or maybes.