The Bulls**t-O-Meter: Ranking How Ridiculous August's Transfer Rumours Really Are

It's been a long, weird transfer window, and it's only going to get longer and weirder.

Normally, the end of August represents the closing of the window, the culmination of months of business, as teams look to put the final touches on their squads for the season ahead.

This is the summer of corona, however. The window is stretched, spending is slashed, yet the rumours, the lovely, nonsensical rumours, are still coming in their droves.

Time for our monthly breakdown of all the bulls**t that has been flooding your timelines.

1. Joshua King

Linked Clubs: Tottenham, Newcastle, Manchester United

As ever with the bulls**t-o-meter, we'll start off with something nice and sensible and build up to this month's crescendo.

Josh King, having seen his January move to Manchester United torpedoed only for Bournemouth to go and get relegated anyway, looks set to leave this summer.

Recent reports suggest Tottenham have started talks, while Newcastle are keeping a keen eye on developments. Either way, virtually everything that's been reported here makes logical sense, and you can colour us stunned if he's a Championship player come the end of the transfer window.

Possibility of Future Transfer: Dead Certain

Likelihood of Summer Move: Very Strong

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 1/10

2. Raul Jimenez

Linked Clubs: Manchester United, Juventus

These rumours seem to have died away a little now. Thankfully, because they made such little sense.

For all the Mexican is one of the best in Europe at what he does, what he does is so niche that it takes a very specific style of play to get the best out of him. He's basically a big, hench Roberto Firmino, with a sensible haircut and a less enticing smile.

Cristiano Ronaldo allegedly wanted him at Juventus, while there briefly seemed to be some substance to Man Utd's interest, but now it seems he'll be staying at Wolves.

Well, this week anyway.

Possibility of Future Transfer: Moderate

Likelihood of Summer Move: Tenuous

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 6/10

3. Diego Costa

Linked Clubs: Benfica, Tottenham

As much as we would all love Diego Costa to actually sign for Tottenham, since the inevitable touch-line scrap with José Mourinho would be as box office as it comes, it's just not going to happen.

The Benfica rumours make a little more sense...or rather they would, had the Portuguese side not signed Luca Waldschmidt from Freiburg earlier this month.

He'll probably just end up staying at Atlético, since he and Diego Simeone are basically the same person.

Possibility of Future Transfer: MLS by His 34th Birthday

Likelihood of Summer Move: Lukewarm

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 7/10

4. Aaron Ramsey

Linked Clubs: Arsenal (inevitably), Newcastle, Everton

Two main stories to break down here. One, which has already been taken out at the knees by The Chronicle, surrounds Newcastle's 'approach' for Aaron Ramsey...which, let's face it, didn't happen.

The other concerns Everton, to whom Juventus are said to have proposed a swap to bring Moise Kean back to the club. Yeah, not convinced on that one either.

The Italian tabloids seem to believe that Andrea Pirlo is hell bent on moving Ramsey on, but that is yet to be echoed by anyone who has a clue. Sky Sports say selling him is seen as 'a possibility, but not a priority', which seems more in line with reality.

Possibility of Future Transfer: Reasonable

Likelihood of Summer Move: Low to Moderate

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 8/10

5. N'Golo Kanté

Linked Clubs: Inter, Manchester United

Nearly missed this one. Good lord.

Yeah, The Mirror really did have a go at trying to make N'Golo Kanté to Manchester United a thing.

That's...yeah.

Inter have also been in the frame, but there doesn't seem to be much to that, other than Kanté fitting their very vague transfer remit. He's a Premier League player approaching 30, et cetera.

Possibility of Future Transfer: Moderate

Likelihood of Summer Move: Give Us a Break

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 9/10

6. FC Barcelona

Where do you even start?

There's so much vomit spilling out of the Messigate saga that singling out one rumour wouldn't do it justice.

Going in one direction, we've had Messi linked with everyone from Inter (Milan) to Inter (Miami) to Manchester City, with a brief pitstop at Liverpool that was laughed out the door by Jurgen Klopp.

Going the other way, we've had Mundo Deportivo claiming Sadio Mané wants to join Barca as Messi's replacement, but he faces strong competition from Martin Braithwaite, who allegedly wants the No.10 shirt when the captain leaves.

We're barely a fortnight in.

BULLS**T-O-METER RATING: 10/10