Why Luis Suarez returning to Liverpool would make no sense whatsoever

There are some transfer rumours that just make you want to close whatever device you're staring at and stop thinking about football for a while.

Luis Suarez back to Liverpool this summer? Unquestionably one of those rumours.

Since the Uruguayan left the club for Barcelona back in 2014, the Reds have completely overhauled the way they do transfer business. The appointment of Jurgen Klopp dovetailed with the promotion of Michael Edwards to sporting director in 2016, and the club ditched their previous scattergun approach for a data-driven recruitment model that led them back to the top of the mountain.

At the core of that approach are some golden rules for new signings that they have more or less stuck to staunchly; players typically have to be young enough that there is room for growth, relatively cheap, and free from injuries that have the potential to flare up.

People brought into the club typically have a certain type of personality too; there's no question that Klopp prefers hungry, unproblematic characters prepared to put their own egos to one side for the benefit of the team.

Now, if you're sitting there now thinking 'Luis Suarez is almost none of those things' then you'd be absolutely correct.

Now 34, he's just been sidelined with a muscular injury which could end his season, and is preparing to walk out on a contract with Atletico that sees him rake in £160,000 per week.

But regardless, a report by Todo Fichajes is being regurgitated by a number of titles in England, claiming that Liverpool are 'one of two options' on the table for the veteran this summer.

It's claimed that he has grown disillusioned with life under Diego Simeone at Atletico Madrid, feeling the manager's tactics - which require him to work hard off the ball - are causing his injuries to flare up.

In other words, he wants a move to a club where he'll have to run less.

So he's allegedly signing for Liverpool, where counterpressing is a way of life.

Right...

The argument for the signing is that, well, he'll be available for free. He'll add some experience to the forward line - which currently includes three players who turn 30 in the next year - and 'guaranteed goals' to a team who have struggled to find the back of the net this season.

That second point may hold some merit. The Reds' chance conversion rate is the worst in the Premier League by a distance, so having a predatory striker with a track record of scoring goals in the group might not be a bad thing. It could have a similar effect to Edinson Cavani at Manchester United this season.

The question, though, is does his potential impact merit a break from strategy in almost every measurable way? You'd have to say no.

Liverpool have moved on since Suarez last played for them. From top to bottom, the club is a different entity to the one he left. They've moved past the need for short-term signings, and every piece of transfer business they conduct is carefully considered from all angles, so as to avoid any costly disasters.

With all the negative PR towards the end of his last spell at Anfield, then, it seems highly unlikely they'd want to go back to Suarez. Particularly when he doesn't even fit into their plans.

But hey, maybe they will.

Either way, I'm turning my laptop off and forgetting about football for a bit.